Whether you’ve been open about your struggles with infertility or have only told a handful of close family members or friends, at some point you’ve likely received well-intentioned, but unsupportive comments or questions from others.  It may have happened when you were at a party having an otherwise enjoyable conversation with someone you hadn’t met before and they suddenly ask the question, “So, when are you planning to start a family?”  Perhaps you just confided in a friend about how long you’ve been trying to conceive and they responded, “Just relax and it will happen,” “Have you ever considered adoption,” or “At least you’re having fun trying.”  Maybe there’s a parent, sibling, or friend who you’ve always counted on to [...]

Anyone who has struggled to become pregnant knows that infertility is an inherently stressful, demoralizing experience. The longer it goes on, the more intensive the medical interventions, the more physically, psychologically, and financially intrusive the experience becomes for an individual or a couple. Infertility can be a “crazy making” world—but it doesn’t have to be…. A recent internet news article on VICE highlights the toll fertility treatments can take on mental health and the important role of fertility counseling, with specially trained mental health professionals, is in dealing with the emotional challenges. Olivia Campbell interviewed me for this article that discussed how routine aspects of fertility treatment can be anything but routine for patients going through it. Multiple losses and [...]

Times of stress affect many aspects of life and may negatively impact those closest to you. It is sometimes easier to conserve emotional energy by withdrawing than to reach out to a partner. During a challenge to fertility, this can lead to feeling alone and unsupported, perhaps even for the first time in a previously harmonious relationship.  Emotions run deep and can be overwhelming to an individual, let alone a couple. Preexisting patterns may no longer be effective facing this new challenge. We often want to share all our ups and downs with those nearest and dearest, so rather than fending for yourself, try going on offense as a couple.   How do you know what your partner really needs [...]